Why SMART goals are not that smart.

In business the concept of setting SMART goals are everywhere; Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time Bound.  Yet I think these are one of the fundamental problems of an underachieving society, and a society where average is ok. Its the word ‘Achievable’ that keeps people in their box of being ordinary; when you set your goals, they need to be achievable.

For a long time, I thought it made sense and I was all for setting my SMART goals. But after a while I became frustrated with people around me who didn’t have any ambition for doing exceptional things or for wanting to step outside of the box. I have worked with many organisations who would achieve some national benchmarking scores and see that as a success. I questioned why are they not aiming for the best, for being better than average? Why are they not aiming for perfection? Why is average ok? Read more ›

Ditch the Back Up Plan

As a child, I wanted to perform on the stage, TV and film. Literally anywhere there was an audience, I was dancing or acting. But along the way I received some very ‘sensible’ career advice from many people, teachers, parents, partners. “Acting is not a stable job/ its really hard to get work/ this is just a hobby / you need a real job.” I’m sure they were well meaning but it literally blew my dreams into flames. The reason being because I listened to them.

I thus created a ‘Back up Plan.’ The thing I could do if the acting didn’t work out. So, I worked on my back up plan. I went to university to get a degree in nothing related to performance. I got a job in nothing related to performance and I lived my life doing nothing relating to performance. I literally lived my back up plan.

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When to Say I Love You

In a new relationship saying I love you can be one of the most exciting yet nerve wracking times. On the one hand if ‘I love you’ is reciprocated by your new partner, this can be an incredibly magical time. On the other hand, if they don’t reply, a lead balloon falls to the floor, the tumble weed rolls by and the relationship is doomed from that moment.

But what if you never said it? What if you went through the relationship agreeing NOT to say, ‘l love you?’ Read more ›

How Laughter can heal Hearbreak

IIn the midst of hurt and pain of heartbreak, the last thing that you can imagine yourself doing is laughing and yet the benefits of doing so can be extraordinary because laughter is a natural healer. It boosts the production of Serotonin, a natural anti-depressant in the body whilst also reducing the levels of stress hormones Cortisol, dopamine and epinephrine. Now the really cool thing is that the body cannot distinguish between real and fake laughter so faking it has exactly the same benefits as the real thing. Now I am sure there are many people who wish that in certain areas of their life that faking was a good as the real thing. For those areas, I cannot guarantee that but for laughter I can assure you this is the real deal Read more ›

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Dealing with the In-Laws when going through Divorce

This article is also featured here http://www.divorcedparents.co.uk/page/details/dealing-with-the-in-laws

If Divorce was only between you and your ex, it would be simple, right? Unfortunately, the ripples of Divorce affect many people surrounding you, especially yours and your ex’s parents. Read more ›

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How Mindfulness can help in Divorce

Supporting someone through a Divorce can be a difficult process, as can supporting anyone through an emotional trauma. This is because everyone is different, so there is never a one size fits all approach.

I recently had the fortune of chatting to Sara Collins (a qualified solicitor, coach and mindfulness practitioner) about Mindfulness and how this can support people through Divorce. Here is what she told me: Read more ›

How to Cope With Being Cheated on and Getting Divorced

Article also feature in the Huffington Post
When you married your spouse, the idea was for better for worse, in sickness and in health, til death us do part and yet here you are, not dead and facing the prospect of Divorce. The vows are for better for worse, but overcoming when your partner has cheated is a very difficult thing to do, even worse when the cheater does not want to be in the marriage.

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6 Ways to Manage Your Mental Health in Divorce

As featured in the Huffington Post

Getting Divorced can knock you sideways emotionally, physically and mentally and make you feel like your world has turned upside down. Read more ›

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Divorce with Dignity: Don’t Throw Daggers

So you and your Ex have decided to split, perhaps your Ex dumped you and you’re hurting. Or your Ex made you so miserable that you dumped them. Either way the relationship is over and you’re getting divorced. Emotions are going to be bouncing off the walls; anger, sadness frustration, perhaps elation.  You name it, you will experience them all.

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Divorce with Dignity – Lesson 1: Social Media is Not Your Friend

There is no question that it is hard when your marriage/relationship is over particularly if it has ended with deceit and lies. You are so desperately angry but often don’t have the opportunity to tell them what you really think. So what better way to get revenge and re-assert your power than to type a status, and post it on Facebook. Or how about posting a status full of anger whilst mentally sticking your middle finger up. Cringing later because it all came off a bit psycho and kind of feeds into what your ex has been saying about you. Our obsessions with social media popularity and connecting with people online has changed the way we relate to each other with people defining their sense of worth by the number of friends and followers they have. This medium that we are using to connect and relate to people is also starting to work against us. Read more ›

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